I already mentioned a post by a classmate from college (César Portela) where abortion was discussed. While in one of the comments, as I told you, I went off topic, I liked the reflection, and today I share it with you. The topic was about reason and faith.

Since doubt is not the exclusive property of believers (believers and “non-believers” believe in something, therefore they sometimes doubt), the question could also be: “Why don’t I believe?” Since I’m leaving the comment almost intact, I clarify in parentheses what I was responding to. I hope it helps.

I will never understand with reason that at the moment of the Eucharist the bread and wine are transformed into the Body and Blood of Christ, being an invisible miracle. And I will understand even less that God is one substance, but in three Persons. As you say, mysteries must be believed. Dogmas must be believed. The Eucharist is the mystery of our faith.

Before continuing, I clarify, for the same reasons you mention in the second paragraph (What César said was: “If someone declares themselves anti-abortion they’re labeled as religious and if they wear a cassock, that’s more than enough to disqualify everything they say, no matter how reasonable what they convey may be”), that I was not born into a Catholic family (actually it’s Catholic on paper, let’s say). I wasn’t that lucky. And I clarify this because you might think that I have faith incorporated by force, that I don’t understand what I believe, but “you have to believe.” I’m not saying that those who did have the great fortune (for me it is so) of being born and raised in a Catholic family are people who believe everything, just because. Not at all am I referring to that.

Getting back to the topic of mysteries and dogmas of faith that must be believed. I believe them, but not simply because. I try to understand why I believe in that which, in reality, I don’t understand. Many times I ask myself: why do I believe? Do I have something conclusive that tells me this is true? To arrive at an answer, it seems necessary to me to start by asking ourselves: Why do we live? What are we doing here? Coincidence? We are beings who can love, hate… we can ask ourselves where we come from. I remember the probability and statistics book: “Chance is nothing more than the measure of our ignorance,” said a mathematician whose name I don’t recall. “What we call chance is not nor can it be anything but the ignored cause of an unknown effect.” For me God exists. I believe in that superior Being who originated everything. But how do we prove it? Actually, can it be proven indisputably that God exists? If it could, then I think we would all be obligated to believe in Him. There would be no capacity for choice. There would be no freedom: if we don’t do what He tells us through religion, after death we go to where religion tells us those who don’t believe go. Whether we understand things or not, with fear or without it, we would have to believe, otherwise…

He who, with his freedom, seeks, finds (although someone once said that it is God who seeks men). I believe that, as I said before, there would be no freedom if we found God without seeking Him. God made man free, and as it says in the introduction to Ecclesiastes, “He imposed the painful task of always seeking.” On this point (does God exist?), we may disagree, but what I described is my reasoning on the subject.

So, if God exists and He made me free, what is the purpose of my existence? What does He expect of me? How do I know what He wants to tell me? We cannot stop talking at this point… about the Church. To understand it, you have to approach it, not stay with the opinions we hear on television, or from other people. Because television says “Oh! The Church says you shouldn’t have sexual relations… they’re crazy!”, “The Church opposes experimentation with human embryos?? But it’s to help other people! How old-fashioned!”, but their arguments are never mentioned. And to hear them, you have to approach. You have to see what it preaches, what it teaches.

I believe that about 2000 years ago a Nazarene was born, Son of God, on this earth. His people expected a warrior, a powerful figure who would free them from the Romans. However… this other man appeared, son of a carpenter. His whole life he taught love. He taught to forgive, even the enemy. He told us we must be humble of heart. He proclaimed, as his commandment, that we love one another. For all these “evil” things, we spat on him, we insulted him, we beat him. We nailed him to a cross, and despite everything, at that very moment, he asked the Father to forgive us, because we didn’t know what we were doing. All this he did to save us from sin: because God made us free, and with that freedom we distanced ourselves from Him.

Perhaps you’ll find it much more interesting that about 2000 years ago, a group of people, 12 people… his apostles, went out to teach what He commanded them. They said that the Son of God was this poor, humble man… crucified on a cross. And did people believe it? Did people believe in a God made man to save us, in a God like this, a God so apparently weak? Those 12 people, persecuted at first, started this Church of today, spread throughout (almost) the entire world. A Church that made and makes mistakes, yes, because it is human. In the New Testament you can read how many times Jesus reprimanded Peter, and he was even betrayed by him, the one who nevertheless was the rock on which He built His Church.

Everything I said proves nothing: neither that in the Eucharist the bread and wine become Body and Blood, nor that God is one and triune. Why do I believe it then? Because the Church says so. And because God is with that Church, as Jesus promised, until the end of time. Because we can ask ourselves “and what if the Church is wrong?” But in search of the answer, we must not forget that God is present: if He makes us believe in the Church, then He commits Himself to it teaching without error (here we could talk about papal infallibility).

And since we’re talking about the Eucharist, we can mention miracles that occurred to priests who had lost faith in this sacrament. At the moment of consecration, the bread and wine became flesh and blood, but all this ceased to be an invisible miracle. Yes, I know it’s hard to believe… for the simple reason that we have never seen it.

If I didn’t tire you and you made it this far, then perhaps you’re saying to yourselves: “so what? At the beginning you said you were looking for answers, but to believe what you say you have to assume a bunch of things.” As Father Germán told us at the Sunday mass, after the Casiciaco retreat I attended ended: “Your children (speaking to our parents) had a lot of data about God, but they had not experienced His presence.” And without the experience of God, nothing ends up making much sense, since more questions will surely arise. Faith, ultimately, is a gift from God, and He gives it to whom He wants. Perhaps, like Saint Paul, at some moment in your lives He will manifest Himself to you, and I assure you, things change forever there: amid doubts and falls, you will always walk in that direction. And then, like when someone finds a truth, and excitedly wants to tell the whole world, you hit a wall: indifference, mockery, laughter, insults… But can one be such a coward as to sit with crossed arms after what was experienced?

Saint Augustine said there are several paths to find the truth: first, humility. Second, humility. Third, humility. And Mother Teresa of Calcutta: “Humility is nothing more than the truth: with it neither criticism nor praise affects us.”

All men have the faculty of intelligence, but not all knew how to say, like Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament: “This is meaningless! Nothing to hold on to!” They never felt (or never wanted to feel) how disconcerting this life is. I’m referring to those who are afraid to doubt, to think things through a bit more. Ultimately, those who did not take advantage of those moments of doubt and deep anguish that we all experience to say to themselves, from the heart: “What am I doing here? What is the purpose of my life?”, and start from there a path to find answers that fulfill, and not cling, frightened, to anything.

I leave you this article by Father Fernando Pascual, which talks about the search for truth.

This topic is very deep, and I may be saying nonsense on some matters of faith.

I send you a greeting, and why not dare to say it and keep it only for acquaintances: May God bless you!